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SecretPerson.org

Enbies have magic powers?!

Worst boyfriend ever!!!

Keita woke up in the same state they usually did after a night out drinking: groggy, achy, and badly needing to piss. Their bladder always woke them up half an hour before their alarm went off, which was good, because half the time they forgot to set it after coming home anyway. They slid a hand under the covers and laid it on their tum, waiting for the sharp discomfort to die down a little before they opened their eyes. A minute or two of thigh-squeezing and careful breathing later, they were ready to slide out of bed. They walked over to their desk and plopped down in front of their computer.

"Hey Cortana, what's my daily briefing?"

The robotic voice answered. "Here's what I found for that online," it said. On the screen, it pulled up a listing of denim jackets for sale. Keita closed the window.

"Cortana."

"Yes?"

"What's my daily briefing?"

Cortana paused for a few seconds, and then began talking, starting with the news, which was never very interesting, at least not to Keita. More than anything else, they used it as a distraction from their bladder, which they wouldn't be able to empty until a few hours from now, in the late morning when the first piss break of the day got pushed out to their bathroom card. For the last week or two, enby bathroom cards had been receiving two pees per day, one added at 11am and the other at 9pm. Last night, Keita had tried to put off using their 9pm pee for as long as possible, in preparation for work the next day when they knew they would need to hold it, but they only lasted until around 9:30 before they had to stumble over into the bathroom, on the verge of pissing their pants, to use it.

Keita stared at their desk to find said card... and found to their confusion that it wasn't there. It also wasn't under the desk, in their sweatpants pocket, in last night's jeans' pockets, or in any of the pockets of their backpack. Fuck.

"HYUN!"

"What?"

"DO YOU-- ugh." They stood up from their desk and ran to the kitchen, where their boyfriend Hyun was standing at the stove in his boxer shorts, frying himself an egg. "Do you know where my pee card is?"

His face was covered in a smug grin. "Is it where you left it?"

Keita rolled their eyes. "Gosh, is it? I didn't think to check."

"Maybe check there."

"Maybe shut up."

"Love you baby."

"Hmph."

"Love you~~"

The enby walked over to him, and put their hands on his shoulders, giving the boy an affectionate firm rub.

"Were you awake when I got home last night?" they asked.

"I don't remember."

"Did you see where I put my pee card? Did I have it with me?"

"Babe, I said I don't remember."

"Well, you have that look on your face that says you do."

"Well, I don't!" But if anyone had a look on their face, it sure was Hyun. The grin hadn't left him for the whole conversation.

"Babe. Baby. I need to pee. Did you see me with it when I got home or not?"

"No, cutie. It just came back to me, I think I passed out when you texted me saying you'd be another hour. I was asleep when you got back."

Keita's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and annoyance. Hyun made Bambi eyes at them.

"Sorry I can't help you, my dear. Do you... sniff... do you still love me?"

"You're the worst." Keita started heading back to the bedroom.

"Hey, look under the desk!" Hyun called after them.

"Already did," they said.

--

Like most queer folks in Laves, Keita had long since mastered the art of showering with a full bladder. No, they couldn't just pee in there -- the government was smarter than that. Shower drains came equipped with internet-enabled urine detectors that would notify a local agency if they detected pee coming down the drain. We all pee the same, so that meant even cis people couldn't go when washing up -- but of course, cis people had the option of emptying out beforehand. Keita did not.

Toweling off, Keita glanced at the toilet, and the card reader mounted on the wall to the side. A locking mechanism kept the toilet's lid shut most of the time, unlockable only by swiping one's card. Yep, even private toilets had them. A galling violation of privacy and autonomy, Keita knew, but by now they were bored of thinking that thought. It was old hat.

But here's a thought they weren't bored of thinking, that in fact they were thinking for the very first time right this minute: HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH WORK WITHOUT PEEING?! Their hands grasped the towel much harder than normal with the stress of their predicament, almost giving themself a rash as they themself dried off. They needed to pee. They had to pee. Obviously they were hardly a stranger to that feeling. But god, the thought of needing to wait until after work -- at least after work -- before they could go again made it SO MUCH WORSE. Their tum, normally only a little chubby, was protruding noticeably more with the fullness of their bladder, and they felt like they were going to explode.

Keita put on their underwear, and without bothering to put their shirt or pants on yet burst out of the bathroom and rushed back to the bedroom. They needed to head out the door in the next 10 minutes to get to work on time, and still had no clue where their piss card was, so the search mission continued in the bedroom as they got ready. The hairbrush floated in the air at their behest, autonomously brushing the enby’s hair as they looked for the card. Under the sheets? No. Under the bed? No. In the closet? No. On the windowsil? No. On the desk now? Still no.

"Couldn't find it?"

"Gah!" Keita covered themself up as they whirled around to see Hyun standing in the doorway. They'd forgotten he had the day off today. Something about a burst pipe in the building he worked in (yes, hilarious). Ordinarily Keita wouldn't mind giving him a good look at their body as they got ready for work, but he'd caught them by surprise, and to be honest, they weren't feeling particularly sexy right now, stepping from foot to foot in anxiety and desperation as their mind flipped through various circumstances under which they might piss themself in the office later today.

"A little privacy, please?"

"Sure." Hyun turned around. "So. Couldn't find it?"

"No."

"Damn."

"Hyun."

"What?"

"..."

"..."

They stomped over to him and slammed their hands down on his shoulders. "Hyun."

"What, baby?"

"Do you know where I put my card?"

"Babe, we've been over this. I got no idea."

"Do you want me to go into work in 10 minutes knowing full well I won't be able to get through the day without pissing myself?"

"..."

"Hyun!"

"I don't know how to answer that, babe."

"Fuck!!"

They grabbed their hairbrush out of the air and threw it across the room, then shoved past Hyun and back to the bathroom to get dressed in today’s outfit -- white jeans, a belt, and an understated solid-red blouse. The spent the last six of their ten minutes scrambling around the apartment, looking under and behind every piece of furniture for their piss card and shouting curse words both at no one in particular and at Hyun to help them look, which he at least went through the motions of doing. But soon, time was up, and with one last burst of profanity, Keita donned their backpack, stepped outside, and slammed the door behind them.

--

The first hour wasn't so bad, as these things go. The fuming anger in their head and the cold, twisting panic in their stomach were by far the more unpleasant of the physical sensations Keita was feeling, and work was engaging enough to take their mind partly off their bladder.

The second hour was different.

Because you see, the second hour was the last one before the 11 o'clock break would be pushed out to enby bathroom cards. Keita had always had a large bladder, and during the more lenient times when enbies got three bathroom breaks per day (or even, rarely, four) they generally got along okay. At three per day, they could use the bathroom when their bladder got full. They didn't need to participate in the mad rush enbies made for every public bathroom in the city the minute the breaks went out; they could hold it, wait for the chaos to die down, and then stand up from whatever they were doing and calmly, casually wander over to the nearest restroom to relieve themself. Sometimes they even waited a while longer, just to show off their composure to anyone who happened to be watching. They prided themself on this. The public didn't need to know how badly they needed to pee. It was their own business.

But at two pee breaks per day -- and it absolutely tore them up inside to admit this, but it was true -- at two pee breaks per day, they just couldn't control it. Maybe it was physical, more likely it was psychological, but whatever the reason, when Keita was limited to two bathroom breaks per day, they always broke down in the last hour. They'd squirm in their seat, procrastinate on whatever they were supposed to be doing, give dumb answers when people asked them questions, and generally show just about every sign imaginable of someone who was bursting to go. Even at work. They couldn't wait half a day between breaks without letting the whole world know what a desperate state their bladder was in.

Well, they'd thought today. Maybe since I know I won't be able to pee at work, the effect won't kick in, and I'll be able to get through the day without my bladder giving me too much trouble.

They were wrong. And when eleven o'clock came, when the moment arrived at which their bladder was expecting to finally empty its oversized, overloaded, overfull load of hot piss into the toilet, and it didn't happen... when that moment came and went, Keita only got wronger.

So, at around quarter past eleven, after 75 minutes of writhing in agony, watching cat videos at their desk, and fruitlessly poking at their months-old draft of an open letter to Prince Ben (which one day they swore they'd publish, even if it landed their enby butt right in enby jail) they snapped up from their seat, stamped their foot on the floor in disgust, and made their way over to Grace's cubicle.

Knock knock. The cubicles didn't have doors, but they rapped their knuckles on the wall to get the woman's attention before coming through the empty doorway.

"Hey," they said.

"Hi. What's up?" In their desperation, Keita didn't notice that Grace didn't seem particularly comfortable herself, despite the fact that, since a couple of weeks ago, trans women's cards were getting a pee break at 11am as well -- one of their four daily ones, on the current schedule.

"Um." Keita was trying to keep their composure, but the crushing urge to pee overwhelmed them, and their legs crossed themselves before they could stop it. "Listen. I have a problem."

"What is it?"

They hated themself for doing this, and blushed with the embarrassment of it, and then hated themself for blushing. But it was really, really a dire emerency. They were going to piss their pants.

"I... listen... I need... I... hhh, fuck. Sorry. I..." They looked at the floor. "I was wondering if... I could... if you could swipe me into the bathroom."

Grace cocked her head at her coworker. "Aren't you nonbinary? Or, oh, did your schedule get even worse?"

"No, it, I mean, I know the pee breaks just went out for us, I, I just... I lost my card."

"Oh, dear." Grace stood up from her seat, crossed her legs, and leaned against her desk. She put a hand on Keita's shoulder. "Hun, really? You lost it?"

Keita's cheeks burned hotter than the sun. "Iwasdrunk,..,," they mumured.

"Have you ordered a new one yet?"

They shook their head. Ordering a new one would invalidate the old one instantly... and then the new one would be mailed to them. Anyone who had ever lost track of their piss card knew that option was a joke, at least until you knew the old one was gone for good. Tears were beginning to well up in Keita's eyes. Their bladder was a time bomb.

"Keita... I'm sorry, hun, but I've already used my 11 o'clock break. I'm sorry. I don't have any stored up right now. I wish I could help you."

"O-okay," Keita said, choked up. "Thanks."

Grace started saying something else too, but Keita had already turned tail and was rushing back to their own cubicle, desperate not to embarrass themself any further. They'd just go home. They'd tell Peter they were sick to their stomach -- not that far from the truth, really -- and that they needed to take the rest of the day off. And then after that, it didn't matter. Whether they kept their bladder under control or not, it didn't matter. They wouldn't be at work. They could handle anything as long as it didn't happen at--

"Keita?"

They started, and looked up from their feet (where their gaze had been fixed for the past ten minutes or so) to see exactly the man they had just been thinking about. Peter.

"P-peter! Um." They snapped their legs together and put their hand on the wall for balance, their whole body tensing up with the sudden challenge of needing to contain their desperation and wear a mask of professionalism. This time their legs actually cooperated. As embarrasing as it was to show weakness in front of Grace, she would understand. Peter was no jerk either, but as the proud, typically-ungrateful carrier of a piss card with infinite breaks permanently loaded onto it, there were certain things you just couldn't expect him to understand. Not without some hefty trust being established first, at least.

"Keita. Listen, do you want to keep this on the down-low? I don't want to embarrass you, we can talk about in my office if you like."

"Um. Um. ... Um." Keita's bladder threatened to spray piss all over their jeans right at that very moment. They wrenched it back under control.

"Hey um, I overheard some of what you were saying to Grace just now. I heard you lost your card. If you need to take a personal day, or a- a health day, a sick day, then that's okay. You can take the rest of the day off."

"Um."

"Would you like to do that?"

Keita could hardly imagine a nightmare they'd enjoy less than the one they were currently having, but they put on the calmest face they could, and tried to salvage the situation.

"Sure," they said. "I mean, heh, unless you want to give me one of yours?"

Peter's face turned serious and concerned. He looked left, right, and behind him, and then back to Keita, his body adopting a more formal posture. Whoops.

"Keita," Peter said. "That is illegal."

Yeah. Yeah! NO FUCKING SHIT IT'S ILLEGAL YOU FUCKER! YOU ABSOLUTE DIPSHIT!! I KNOW!!! YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW IT'S ILLEGAL BY NOW?! FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!

"R-right," Keita said.

"It is forbidden under both federal and local law for any individual to unlock a restroom for any other individual besides themself."

"Right. S-sorry, b-bad joke."

Peter nodded. "All right then," he said. "Yes. No worries. So, you would like to take the rest of the day off?"

"Y... yes, I think so, please."

"Okay. Sure. Have a restful rest of your day, then, Keita. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

So they ran back to their cubicle, grabbed their backpack, and rushed out the door.

--

"Fucking bathroom card. Fucking Grace. Fucking Peter. Fucking cis people. Fucking stupid Prince Asshole. Fucking readers. Fucking fuck. Fuck!"

Keita was muttering to themself as they walked along the sidewalk, a sloshy, frazzled mess. They had tried to take the bus home, but as they'd sat at the bus stop, they found that they were absolutely unable to compose themself for even five seconds. They'd been constantly scissoring their legs, crossing and uncrossing them, shifting from side to side, standing up and sitting down again, and even openly grabbing their crotch. Just being out in public in this state was already excruciatingly embarrassing, but when someone else had walked up and sat down on the bench across from them, they had given up and decided to walk home.

The sidewalks were pretty empty at this time of day, and it was starting to give Keita ideas despite themself. Their whole body was sore with the tension of holding their piss, but the penalty for peeing outside of a bathroom was generally a pretty steep fine, and the thought of giving even a single dollar to the regime if they got caught – the thought of giving them money for the crime of having to pee -- was unbearable.

But when the first spurt of piss leaked out uncontrollably into their jeans, the calculus changed somewhat.

Keita stopped dead in their tracks, clutching their tum and twisting their legs around each other. The pain in their bladder was searing. The warm sensation trickling down their upper thigh was liquid humiliation. Everything about it was awful. They couldn't take it. They hobble-ran into the nearest alley, a thin, smelly corridor with an overflowing dumpster in it, ran behind it so as not to be visible from the street, and tore their pants out of the way, already leaking into them again as they did. When they finally let loose, the messy, intermittent trickles became a solid firehose.

For about ten seconds.

"Excuse me zir!"

"GAH FUCK!!!"

The authoritative tone of the call had been unmistakable. Only a cop would be capable of making the ostensibly respectful words sound so derisive, yet simultaneously so empty and mechanical. Summoning all the strength of a trash compactor into their pelvis, Keita stopped peeing, and began frantically getting themself decent again.

The man turned the corner around the dumpster and laid eyes on the guilty enby.

They finished buttoning up, and looked at him with a mix of shame and fury.

"Hi. Mind telling me what you were just doing back here?"

"..."

"If you're planning something, zir, I will remind you that using magic during a confrontation with a police officer is punishable by sentences beginning at eighteen months in prison."

"..."

"What's this on the ground, zir?"

"..."

"Is it urine? Is it your pee?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The pair stared at each other, a picturesque microcosm of the dynamic between Laves and its entire nonbinary population. The officer's face was confident, formal, controlled, righteous; Keita's was flushed, pained, and mad as hell. And they still needed to pee.

"Right. I'm going to go ahead and print you a ticket, zir. Don't go anywhere. You can pay this at your local police station, or online." He took a small machine out of his pocket, typed some information into it, took a picture of Keita without warning them first, and then printed the ticket.

"If you'd like to contest this, you have a week. Otherwise, you've got a month to pay it. All right?"

"..."

He nodded. "Run along, now. I'm not leaving you alone in this alley again."

Keita turned their back, and stalked away.

--

"Babe! Did you piss yourself?"

Keita slammed the door behind them as they came into the apartment.

"Babe."

"Shut up."

"Babe!" Hyun walked up and slung his arm around Keita's shoulders. "Babe."

Keita shrugged him off. "I'm taking a shower."

"Babe. Did you piss yourself?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Keita made their way into the bedroom, returned with a set of clean clothes, and disappeared into the bathroom for fifteen minutes. When they emerged, they were clad only in grey sweatpants and a black crop top. Hyun was waiting for them, an interested grin spread across his face.

"Hi babe."

"Hi."

"Did you pee your pants?"

Keita rolled their eyes and brushed past him into the living room.

"Keita!"

They grabbed his hand. "Come here, mister," they said, and dragged him over to the couch. They sat down, pulled Hyun onto the seat beside them, and scooted in so that their body was pressed up against his. The stress of the day had finally broken their brain, and had left them in that kind of mood. They pulled his hand onto their tum, and pressed down on it.

"Does it feel to you like I peed myself?" they asked.

Hyun's eyes fixated on his partner's body, and he gave their tum a squeeze. It was firm to the touch, and larger than usual. Their skin was taught over the massive water balloon inside. His eyes went wide, and he exhaled hard.

"M-maybe only a little?" he guessed.

Keita nodded. "Order me a new card, my love?"

"Y... yes, my love," Hyun cooed in return.

As he typed on his phone, fingers flying, Keita wrapped their arms around his torso and slumped over onto his lap. Their bladder was still a throbbing, aching mess, but the little bit they'd let out earlier had taken some of the edge off, and being with Hyun made it better. For all his faults, that pee-obsessed boy had completely stolen Keita's heart. The lucky bastard could date any enby in the kingdom and be drowning in fetish fuel every day of his life, but there was something different about the way he looked at Keita. It was there in his eyes even when they didn't need to pee. He was the one reason that having to hold their bladder wasn't all bad, the one person who was allowed to enjoy their plight. They would hold it for him even if Prince Ben and all those who’d come before had never been born. Suddenly Keita felt something poking at them from inside Hyun's pants, and they grinned. The boy was the hottest thing on two legs... and all the more so because they knew he thought the same of them.

"Done," he said, and threw his phone to the side. He put his hands on Keita's back and began gently scritching them. "How are you, my love?"

"Mmmmmmmmm..." They snuggled tighter.

Hyun slid his hand around to the front of Keita's torso again, to get another feel of their bladder. It was so round and protruded, the enby must have weighed five pounds more than normal just from the weight of the liquid. He squeezed it, rubbed it, massaged it, caressed it, and squeezed it some more. Keita's body shivered from the touches, and the waves of pressure their boyfriend’s hand was sending through them made them squirm and wriggle in his lap.

"Stoppppp..." they moaned, wanting nothing more than for him to continue. The pair had a safeword for times like this -- you never knew when horniness would strike and you'd want to jump right in. Their hands were clawing at his body, pulling themself into him, burrowing into his legs, giving themself over to him, bladder and all. Hyun couldn't get enough of Keita's body, and Keita couldn't get enough of Hyun's. In these most intimate moments, they were able to put Piss Fascism out of their mind, to briefly forget the true cause of their bladder's perpetual woes. It was for him, it was for him, it was for him.

The lovers groped each other for twenty minutes, until at last the doorbell rang. Keita sat up to allow Hyun to answer the door, and crossed their legs. They were still averse to showing any desperation in front of strangers, but his constant squeezing and tormenting of their bladder had left them reeling; they needed to pee badly.

"Hey, Doordash."

"Hi, thanks!"

"Don't mention it, have a good one."

Hyun took the bags from the delivery bean and shut the door. The room filled with the smell of Chinese takeout.

Keita cocked their head at him as he came back to sit on the couch. "You ordered food?" they asked.

"Mhm!" Hyun said. "I got the veggie egg rolls you like." He unpacked the food from the bags, setting the takeout boxes on the table in front of them. There was enough food for two people. The gears turned in Keita's head.

"How... did... you know I would be home?" they asked.

"I ordered this after you got home, love."

"When?"

"Didn't you see me on the phone?"

"I... I thought you were ordering me a new bathroom card."

"Oh!" Hyun said. A mischivous grin spread across his face, and he reached into his pocket. Out came two silver-green cards, each with the blue raindrop insignia etched onto the front. He transferred one to his other hand, and held Keita's out to them. "You mean this?"

"What."

"Yeah, surprise! You don't need to wait, I've got your pee card right here."

"You found it and you didn't tell me??"

"I... kinda had it all day. Since the morning."

"WHAT."

"Yeah! You know, it was my day off and everything, and I figured, you know, why not spend it having a little fun with--" But suddenly he found he was talking to an empty room. The couch cushion next to him was still depressed with the weight of a person, but he was looking right through the air where that person would be. Invisible: when an enby casts this on themself in the middle of a conversation, you know you screwed up.

"Nah, come on Keita," Hyun said. "Don't be like that, you know I love you." He made a pouty face. "Come on, love, show me that beautiful body of yours again."

The couch cushion decompressed, and footsteps made their way across the room to the window, then back to the couch, then back to the window.

"Keitaaaaa," Hyun said. "Come on, babe, I'm not giving you this until you--"

But the card flew out of his hand before he could finish what he was saying, and floated over to the bathroom at a brisk walking speed.

"YOU'RE THE WORST BOYFRIEND EVER!!!" screamed the air, and the bathroom door slammed shut.

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